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Intersection of people
□ Pan Yuyi
The acquaintance of people is known to each other. The acquaintance of people is to know. In the eyes of the ancients, when friends meet, the most important thing is moral character and like-mindedness.
Life is the same as plants. A tree and a grass are surrounded by other flowers and trees. As a "spirit of all things", can we not have three or five friends around us? Of course, there are many kinds of friends. They are friends of Mo Ni, life and death, and they are also friends. In the matter of making friends, it is naturally fortunate that we can make good friends, good friends, and friends, but it is an unfortunate thing to make bad friends.
In the attitude towards friends, Mencius once said: "You can also be friends, you can also be friendly." The implication is that when making friends, we should value the heart of a person, rather than Appearance. The acquaintance of people is known to each other. The acquaintance of people is to know. In the eyes of the ancients, when friends meet, the most important thing is moral character and like-mindedness.
During the Eastern Han Dynasty and the Three Kingdoms period, there was a man named Guan Ning, who was called "One Dragon" together with Huaying and Liaoyuan. Huaying was a dragon head, Liaoyuan was a dragon belly, and Guan Ning was a dragon tail. At the beginning of the meeting, Guan Ning and Hua Yan met at the first sight, and then they passed through, and they entered at the same seat. They were called Mo Ni. Later, due to their different interests, they eventually parted ways.
Southern Song Dynasty writer Liu Yiqing talked about two things in "The New Talks of the World" and explained the reasons that led to the "friendship" of Guan Hua and the two. One day, Guan Ning and Hua Yan were weeding in the garden together, and when they heard the sound of a ding, the head seemed to be scratching something. Guan Ning looked down and found a piece of gold on the ground. He said, "What should I be? Then it turned out to be a piece of gold. "Then he swiped his head to the side and continued to scoop the ground. He heard that there was gold, and ran over when he lost his hoe. He picked it up from the ground, held it in his hands, and smiled. Guan Ning looked in his eyes, and said with a bit of discomfort, "Brother Ziyu, ill-gotten gains are not available. Although this gold is a possessionless thing, how can we lose our human dignity for this little gold?" After listening, Hua Yan smiled wryly, barely arguing for himself, and threw gold on the ground.
Another day, two people were studying. The gongs and drums outside the house were noisy, and a noble official was driven by a luxury car to pass by under the crowd of followers, and everyone on the street ran to watch. Guan Ning didn't try to make a name for himself, he didn't hear it, he just buried his head in the scrolls, but Hua Yan lay at the window with an envious expression on his face. Think about it, since the book could not be read anymore, he ran outside and became a member of the onlookers. When he returned to the room, Guan Ning turned black, took out his sword and cut the seat into two sections: "Brother Ziyu, I think our interests are different and it is difficult to be friends. Today we cut off the seats and cut off the relationship. From then on, you leave your Yangguan Road, I cross my single wooden bridge. "
These two stories are very famous in history. Everyone said that Guan Ning is motivated by Gao Jie and deserves respect. In fact, different people have different pursuits, it is difficult to tell who is right and who is wrong, but they are not the same. In contrast, another story that took place during the Northern Song Dynasty illustrates well the principle that "things are grouped by classes, people are grouped by groups". Compared with Guan Ning, the protagonist Fan Zhongyan is much luckier, because his friends are far more respectable than Hua Yan.
During the Reign of the Song Dynasty, Fan Zhongyan, who was "worried before the world, and rejoiced after the world", was dissatisfied with the prime minister, Lu Yijian, planting party feathers, holding control of the government, and presenting the "Emperor Promotion Sequence Map" to Emperor Renzong. fierce. Lu Yijian was tit-for-tat, first criticizing Fan Zhongyan for his deeds and alienation, and then slandering him for collaborating with friends and plotting wrongdoing. At that time, the imperial court was carrying out a special operation for the improvement of the party, and Lu Yijian's intention was not innocuous. Fan Zhongyan immediately refuted the four theories of selecting a virtuous person, Ren Neng, recent name, and shirk, reprimanding Lu Yijian as an adulterer. But in the end he ended up being derogated from Raozhou.
It is said that Fan Zhongyan offended the prime minister of the DPRK. His friends should avoid it, but the fact is not true. Many courtiers are proud of it. Yin Yingming, the then crown prince Zhongyun and collated by the Pavilion Pavilion, was not implicated, but took the initiative to write to the emperor, saying that he and Fan Zhongyan are also teachers and friends. If they are friends, they are also one, and they hope to be disparaged with Fan Zhongyan. Yu Jing, Ouyang Xiu, and others also complained for Fan Ming, which gave birth to the word "gentleman has a party."
"Seeing wise and thinking together, seeing unkind and introspective." You can see a person's character from a friend's view of choosing a friend, and a person's virtue from a friend. Fan Zhongyan is a man of integrity, "Ning Ming died and lived silently", and his friends are all such people of integrity. If a person can make such friends, he is undoubtedly happy.